It finally sank in

Today was my off day and I spent like I really wanted to; with a dentists hands in my mouth all morning. I hope the baby inherits lydia's genetic disposition for no cavities instead of mine for teeth that break up and fall out if you smile to hard. I took lyd to the doctor this afternoon because she's had a bad cough for a few days and we just want to be careful. So after the doc we went to a book store with the intent on finally buying a baby book. I have been afraid to do this so far because I was afraid of being spotted and the big secret getting out.

So Lydia hands me a book called "God Created Me". It one of those books that you fill in all the answers about your feelings and what you want the baby to know about the experience. The first main page is entitled "Right from the start, God had me in mind!" and has room for pictures. One of the pages is about how "God created mom and dad" and one about how "...they fell in love" and then one says that something was missing "So...God Created Me!" As I stood in the bookstore reading this little book it all hit me, and it all became real for the first time. As tears ran down my face and I cried like a baby, I read the scriptures written on the pages...

"You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed."

Psalm 139:16 (NLT)

"I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my spokesman to the world."

Jeremiah 1:5 (NLT)

...and my whole perspective changed. As I flipped through the book and saw pages of questions about things that have already happened, like how Lydia and I met, and other questions about things that we have yet to experience; I could see how God in his wisdom put us together and prepared us for each other and for our child. I was in awe when I thought about God's blessings and His leading in my life.

It was a real special moment of worship.
...standing in a bookstore
...crying like a baby

We bought the book. This whole time I thought it was the expectant mother that was supposed to be emotional.

Blabbing

Today we told the church the news about the baby. I was a little embarassed with so much attention, but I at least know that this baby will be loved by MANY people. We have such a wonderful church family. I was telling someone tonight I was concerned about being a good mom, and he said "You have a big family here who will make sure you're a good mom." I'm overwhelmed with the amount of love we received today from different people saying they would help in whatever way they could. My friend, Liana, told me that my doctor delivered her little boy, Nathan, and that she was pleased with him, so that gave me some comfort knowing the baby would be in good hands. She's also been willing to give me advice about Labor (the thought of labor is quite scary) and whatever else I might have questions about (Thanks, Liana!) And my good friend, Kim, called first dibs on babysitting. Ofcourse, you'd get dibs, Kim! (All the kids in our church are crazy about "Mrs.Kimmy"!)

After church, my sister called and wanted to tell her fiance, Daniel. I gave her the go-ahead. She also took time to tattle on Mom, who was supposed to wait for the go-ahead before telling anyone, but blabbed to some friends at church this morning. I can't blame her really. I blabbed to a couple of people too, before I was supposed to tell. Its just too exciting to keep it to yourself. This is her first grandbaby, by the way. I'm really proud of her for making it this long, really. We went to lunch with Geron's parents after church, and found out that his mom had told people, too. Its her first grandbaby, too, and she's tried really hard to keep it quiet. If you'd seen her reaction when we told her, you would understand what a hard trial she went through not being able to tell.

Tonight, when we got home, I called Pam and Sue Ellen. They, along with Holly, were tops on my list of people to tell in Richmond. I had a wonderful conversation catching up with Pam. She has been my mentor for probably the last 5 years. She is a woman after God's own heart and its evident to anyone who meets her. I imagine I will be seeking out MOUNDS of advice on parenting from her. I didn't get to tell Sue Ellen tonight. So, if you're reading this, don't say anything to her about the baby unless she mentions it to you first.

Tomorrow, I will tell my kindergarten teachers at school. I can't wait. Its been crazy knowing and not being able to tell all this time. For example, yesterday, I was at a women's retreat and signed up for a no-sew throw seminar. We learned how to make those really cute fleece throws that are kind of popular right now. Well, I picked a baby blanket pattern. There were two ladies from my church in the same seminar and they asked me if there was something I wasn't telling them. Well, I didn't want to lie to them, so I just flat out told them. And added "YOU CAN"T TELL ANYONE". After the seminar, we met with the rest of our group and we each were showing them our blankets. Well, people wanted to know why I had made a baby blanket. I said "Its a baby gift." Well, Lindsey, I could've killed her, said "Who's it for?" I wasn't ready for that. I said "A friend." "What's the friend's name?" I wanted to smack her!!! ( I love her, but I wanted to smack her) It took me a minute and I spit out "Emily" And we left it at that. I felt so guilty for lying. I don't have a friend name Emily having a baby, although I do have a friend named Emily who had a baby almost two years ago. IT ate at me and ate at me that I'd flat out lied to Lindsey. I couldn't wait til today to tell her the truth--I was afraid she'd be angry with me when Geron announced it and she found out I'd lied. (Dummy me, she's not like that.) Well, I pulled her aside and told her, but told her not to tell anyone. Yeah, so I guess I was the worst blabber of them all. I have no right to get onto my mom or Geron's mom for telling. We're all just too excited to keep our mouths shut.

Special Announcement

drum roll please...


















We're Pregnant !!!!!!!

well not we...more like she. but whatever you get the picture.

I'm gonna be a Daddy!!!

Of course this was something I was going to have to blog about, so we're doing something special. Check out http://thebrownbabyblog.blogspot.com/

Lydia and I have been documenting our thoughts and emotions from the very beginning, and will be daily posting them a few at a time on the baby blog.

Mama and baby are both doing well. We are about 9 weeks along, and due between Aug 26 and Sept 1. No puking yet, but that will probably all change as soon as I post this. We are totally excited and scared all at the same time, please keep us in your prayers. Feel free to tell everyone you know about our great news and give them the web address to our new blog

video post

this may be the coolest thing i've ever seen

lima bean

Yesterday we went for our first real visit with the doc.Other than having to wait an ansurd length of time for the ultrasound, it was amazing. The ultrasound was cool. Now I know why tom cruise bought one for home use. We got to see the baby for the first time. They estimated that we were 8 weeks and 3 days along. That puts the big day sometime between August 26 and September 1.

Yesterday evening we called our brothers and told them the big news. They were both excited to be uncles. I don't know if we have mentioned this, but this will be the first grandbaby in both our families. The poor child doesn't have a chance. My older brother said that he probably owed me dinner for getting him off of the hook. I told him that he owed me a lot more than that.

This morning I told my pastor, and our secretary, our big news they were excited for us. They both suspected something was going on since I have been taking Lydia to the doctor more frequently.

The news is spreading and we are really getting exited.

update

I know I've been a little lax in updating recently. There has been a lot going on though. The main thing going on is getting the house set up and in livable condition. We are about there. Most of the cardboard boxes have been unpacked and the stuff put away. It's always a challenge moving into a new house. This house doesn't really have as much closet space as our old house, but it has an unfinished basement and an unfinished second floor. So really there is a lot of storage. The bedrooms are smaller, which is an adjustment. I'll post some new pics soon.

The new project is still making good progress. I've been working on the web design a bit getting it ready for public eyes. The website launch and announcment will be monday. So make sure you check back in then.

A good name

Okay, so maybe its a little early to think of names, especially since we don't know what sex it is. My college friend, Tonya, lovingly refers to her unborn as the banana. So, I figured I needed to come up with something. Well, today, I had my first ultrasound and inspiration struck. I found out that I am 8 weeks and 3 days (HAVE TO ADD THAT 3 DAYS PART; GERON IS A STICKLER ABOUT THAT) along and that the baby is the size of a lima bean. So, for the time being I have affectionately dubbed this little one "Lima Bean" or "Beanie" for short.

Growing up, I wasn't as creative as I thought with names for my dolls and stuffed animals. The stuffed animals in particular were very lacking in creative titles. My pink teddy bear was "pink teddy" and the bear that was a little bigger than that I called "Big Teddy". I also had a bunny with a potbelly who I called "Potbelly". And when I was in college, Geron gave me a stuffed wrinkle dog (shar-pei) who, you guessed it, was "Wrinkle Dog". My dolls, on the otherhand, had a little different names, although they weren't so good, either. At 2 1/2 I had "Ishy and Tenny and Nonny". I think Nonny got the name Rebecca, my middle name, at some point and then later, after getting a haircut that revealed the metal circle her hair was glued to, became "Doughnut". So, I figure Lima Bean isn't such a bad name for now. And you can rest assured that Lima Bean will not be named "Baby Girl" or "Baby Boy" later on, but have a real name, a good name.

so hard to say goodbye

yesterday we laid to rest one of the pillars of our congregation. Her name was Irene Wolfe and she was loved by everyone in our church. back in march when i first came to grace church she walked up to lydia and i and said, "My name is Irene, some call me Irene the Nazarene, but you can call me meemaw" [nazarenes aren't known for their humor] She will be dearly missed by all. My sunday school teacher, who is dealing with cancer, told us sunday that the rest of us would have to pray extra hard for him because he knew and felt her fervent prayers on his behalf. Sunday evening, in the service someone asked those who had been the recipients of a cake or pie that she had brought them to raise their hands. Most of the congregation had their hand up. Then we were asked if she had sent you a personal note of encouragment to raise your hand. even more than before went up. She was a godly lady and set an example of hard work and faithfullness that challenges me to do more for the kingdom.

nursery

Yesterday was moving day. We had 10 men from church helping, along with Geron’s dad, and the two1/2 of us. Things went quickly and smoothly at the old house. All of our furniture was loaded in 30 minutes—NO JOKE! Everything was well and good until someone started a joke at the new house. Both bedrooms are on the back of the house. The left bedroom is ours and the right bedroom WILL be the nursery, although noone knows this yet. So, as people brought things in I would say “Put it in the left bedroom,” or “That goes in the bedroom on the right.” Finally, someone said “IS this going to be the nursery?” I quickly said “No, this is the guest room.” Well, despite my answer, it was then labeled the nursery and for the rest of the moving experience, I would say “put it in the guest room” and the men would say “That goes in the nursery, fellas.” I gave up and went along with it. At least I wasn’t lying if I chose to call it the nursery. But, right now, as far as they’re all concerned, it is only a guest room, and as I told someone, it would probably stay a guest room for a few years. Lord willing and everything goes okay, they will know soon that the last laugh is on them.

A 3rd Wheel is a Good Thing. Remember Big Wheels??

Today I got results from the second set of blood work, which I had done on Tuesday. My levels are good! I’m still on the Prometrium until my next doctor’s visit, which will be January 23^rd, but I’m trusting the Lord to keep seeing us through. And if I have to stay on the meds a while longer, I’m fine with that. I told Geron today I wish I could start throwing up, just so it will be more real to me. (BLAAACH!!) Anything would be good just to know the “3^rd wheel” will soon be here. I still don’t know a due date, but should be able to find out on the 23^rd. I’m also excited that I’ll finally get to meet with my doctor again instead of going through these nurses, who are wonderful, by the way. I’m dying to tell people. I think that will make it more real, too. My friend, Andrea, is always saying “you’ll make a good Mommy” or “Look at that cute baby—You’re next!”

I want to say “You bet I’m next!” and “By the grace of God I might be a good mommy”. But, I wait…and wait… and in the meantime people are wondering why I’m so tired all of a sudden and why I want to sleep through my lunch break.

comin' for to carry me home

I'm kind of dragging booty today. I'm exhausted from all the work we've been doing packing, fixin up the new place, and getting ready to move. Some issues at work have me a little frustrated and discouraged on top of that. Not much time to post today, too much work to do.

The good news is that I'm steadily making progress on my new project. more details to follow soon.

tear the roof off the sucka

Today I spent the entire day at the new house. We painted. When I say "We " I mean pastor and myself. My pastor paid his wife and kids way through college by painting houses. He is very good. I know this may not impress you, but he doesn't have to tape off or anything. He did the cutting in and I did the rolling. He make a pretty good team, and it's good to know that if our congregation ever gives us the boot we can do other things. Got the Living Room, Dining Room, Hallway, and Master Bedroom today. He also painted all the crown molding in the LR and DR. I guess the really good part about this is that the landlord was going to require a deposit, until she realised how much work we were going to put into fixin the house up right. So now she is not requiring one. Yeah!!

God is Good

Today I had a bit of a scare. It was my first day back at school and I was so excited about seeing my little friends! Edgar, my Hispanic “sweetheart” was back from a 1 1/2 month trip to Mexico. He is one of the CUTEST kindergarteners, and probably my favorite. Well, the day was going great until I got a message in the office to call my Ob/gyn. I figured it was to find out how far along I was. It turned out that I needed to start taking Prometrium. All I was told was that it was to get my progesterone levels up. I immediately got on the internet and looked it up. I started seeing the words premenopausal, postmenopausal and miscarriage, problem pregnancies---all those scary words that a new mom-to-be doesn’t want to see or hear or even know they exist. Well, I began praying that God would protect this baby and make my body work right to carry it safely to term, but I was still a little uneasy. Tonight, I picked the medicine up from the pharmacist and was informed of the same thing I’d read on the net. The prometrium is supposed to increase progesterone levels in the uterus until the placenta develops. Then, the placenta takes over and I can abandon the Prometrium. Everything I’d seen had been scary to me until tonight. I looked the drug up again on the internet, and in God’s good timing, I found a story about a woman who had to take prometrium and had saw all the same scary stuff on the net that I did. Her story wasn’t looking too promising at first; she went through ordeal after ordeal after ordeal. So, finally, I just skimmed down to the bottom of the story and saw that she had a baby girl and she made it!! That was promising to me—encouraging to say the least. God knows what I need to keep my mind at peace. He is the Great Physician and he can take care of my body and this baby he’s entrusted to us. I will praise Him and trust Him. I know that whatever will come our way, He will see us through.

new digs

Well we spent practically the entire day moving boxes and cleaning the new house. I guess you really shouldn't have to clean before you move in, but we are. Monday we are going to paint most of the interior. We are dead dog tired, but I wanted to get some pics out there before I crash.

Check out all of the house pics

Rip Van Widia

On our trip to Oklahoma for Christmas I noticed that Lydia was sleeping an awful lot. It has since only gotten worse, she has started falling asleep all the time. Today she fell asleep on the way home. We have been working on the new house and she has to take breaks and nap a little bit before getting back to work. Of course all i can think about is all that we have to do before we move, and all she can think about is how much she needs to sleep. This pregnancy is gonna teach me a lot of patience I'm afraid.

Well I better go wake her up. the van is loaded and we need to get over to the new house to unload it.

Congratulations Mom and Dad, you’re getting old

Originally, Geron and I said we would wait until the end of January, first of February before telling anyone that we are going to be parents; however, after the doctor’s appointment yesterday, I was way too excited to keep it to myself. So, we decided we’d tell his parents when we were showing them the new house. We’d planned to go through every room and tell them what each room was going to be. Then, when we got to what would normally be the guest room, we’d just casually say “and this is going to be the nursery.” Well, we went through every room and finally got to the big moment and Patsy looked at me and asked “And what’s this room going to be?” Well, Geron was supposed to be the one to tell his parents! That’s just how its done! I answered “I’ll let Geron tell you.” Then she got this crazy look on her face like ‘could it be? All my life I’ve waited for this very moment. Is it finally hear at last?’ you know the look. And Geron said “the nursery. And she just laughed and cried and laughed and cried some more! And then all the questions and aha moments started spilling out for the rest of the evening. After dinner at Lillie May’s, we headed home and I called my parents. We were hoping my sister wouldn’t be home so that we could keep it from her until, February when we start telling everyone else, but Ann answered the phone. So, we decided we’d tell her, too, but only because she lives with mom and dad right now and would probably overhear something. I didn’t tell her. We chatted a bit and I asked to talk to Mom. When Mom got on the phone and said Hello, I said “Hey, Granny!” It took her a second. “GRANNY?!” she said “AREYOUPREGNANT!?” just like that, “Yeah.” Good thing we’d decided to tell Ann, too, because she knew now, as did my dad, and possibly even their neighbors! After talking to Mom, I said hi to my dad, who I called “Grandpa” cause I know that’s what he’ll want to be called when he is one. They’re pretty excited. But I imagine everyone is going to have a hard time keeping it a secret for a month. I keep wanting to call Holly and Jeff and Pam and Roger and friends all over the place. I think I’m going to have the hardest time keeping it a secret out of anyone, especially when I start throwing up.

Telling Mom and Dad

Let me preface all of this by saying my mother is dying for grandkids, and since my brother hasn't delivered the goods it has looked like it was going to be up to us for some time now. A few times we have told mom and dad that we needed to talk to them about something important. It seems that my mom always thinks it's going to be about having kids. Of course, it never has been until now.

The plan was to go meet Mom and Dad for dinner after the doctor visit and to show them our new house that we are moving into. As we drove across town to meet them. Lydia said something about not waiting to tell them like we had previously said, but we decided we would go ahead and tell them now. We met and the house and as we went room to room I was describing what each one was going to be used for. We we got to the office mom asked if it was going to be the nursery. I laughed and shook my head and said, "No, This is the office." We moved on and finally wound up in one of the back bedrooms. I nonchalantly said, "...And this is going to be the nursery." Mom's eyes got real big and she squeeked, "REALLY?" We nodded and mom kinda started jumping in place hugging herself. Dad was excited too, but didn't really get all goofy like mom did. We immediately forbid them to tell another living soul until we were ready for everyone to know.

What’s a matter? Cat got your tongue?

Yesterday was my first day back at school; we had in-service. My friend, Sally, our church pianist, is the music teacher at our school, and yesterday, she asked me if I was going by the church after work. I told her I couldn’t because I had a doctor’s appointment. (to confirm that there is a living being growing somewhere inside me, but I didn’t tell her that part) I left it at that and headed to the doctor after work. When Geron picked me up, I was feeling a bit nauseous, not the puking kind, just nauseous. He wanted to take my picture before I went in the office, and those of you who know me know that I don’t like to have my picture made. I’m not photogenic and I know it. Well, I let him take one and then we went into the office. Pregnant women everywhere!! I was feeling pretty weird and excited at the same time. I think it still wasn’t real to me that I could be pregnant. And I was worried, too, that there still might be the tiny possibility that I wasn’t pregnant and then I would be really disappointed. So, after what felt like an hour, the nurse called “Mrs.Brown?” and I followed her back into the hallway full of offices and other gyno rooms. She asked “What are you here for today?”, the typical question, and I answered “a pregnancy test.” “Have you taken a urine test already?” “Yes,” I responded, still feeling overwhelmed at the whole thing and thinking “don’t ask me to pee, don’t ask me to pee, don’t ask me to pee.” “Well, would you like to do another urine test or a blood test?” “BLOOD TEST…
(and being the person that shares too much information) I don’t think I could pee right now.” So, she sat me down, took the blood and told me it would be about a twenty minute wait if I wanted the results then. I said I’d wait. Somehow twenty minutes felt like twenty hours. And the whole time I was still thinking how humiliating it would be if she came out and told me that I wasn’t going to be a mommy in nine months. I debated whether or not to look at the pregnancy magazines they had in the hallway while I waited. I flipped through Good Housekeeping and finally decided I’d go for it. When twenty minutes were up I had a treasure of websites about baby nurseries, maternity dresses for special occasions(my sister’s wedding is in May) and found out that YES, I AM GOING TO BE A MOMMY! YEA!

So, at school today, Sally, my friend I mentioned above asked “What doctor did you go to?” (WHAT?!!?! How does she know I went to the doctor?) “Yesterday, you couldn’t stop by the church because you went to the doctor?” “Oh, yeah” I responded. “I had a doctor’s appointment and then, Geron and I showed his parents the house and then, we had dinner at Lillie May’s”. (thinking all of this would take her mind off the doctor.) ”So, what doctor did you go to?”she asked again. “The gyno” I said, very bluntly and casually. “OH, I just wanted to make sure nothing was wrong.”she answered. PHEW!!
Sally, I’ll tell you why in February.

better late than never

As I was reading my normal blogs today, I finally found the thing that I should have added to my Christmas list.(be sure to check out their sweet flash intro) ysmarko has a regular feature about Jesus junk that is usually pretty funny. Stuff that people put Jesus' face on to make a buck. Or I guess I should say the face most often associated with Jesus. Actually Jesus probably looked nothing like this. The face we think of as Jesus probably came from the guy who sat in front of Jesus in algebra. You know the one the confused teacher always called Jesus, but his name was really Gerald or something. This reminds me... At my middle school we had like a 100 Jerome's but only one Geron. So of course it was easier to call me Jerome than by my actual name. I hope you see the emotional damage you caused my fragile adolescent mind Mrs Mooney.

...or was it Mrs Moody?

Anyway, I guess I got off point there. Oh well here's some cool Jesus junk.

Oh yeah upcoming stuff. I'm launching a new web site with a partner in a few weeks. I'll keep you posted.

Good News

This afternoon I went with Lydia to her appointment with the Doctor. Last Saturday, She took the EPT test and it was positive, so today she was going to the doctor to confirm it. I've never been to a gynecologist's office before(go figure). It was overwhelming. Expectant mothers with bulging bellies were waddling all over the place; up to the desk then over to carefully sit in a seat. Most people looked happy, some sad. I saw a teenager come in with someone who looked to be her mother and sit in the corner of the waiting area. She was wiping tears, and wondered what her story was. I found a magazine and sat down to endure the wait.

Lydia finally was called back and was anxious as she was gone. I read an article in the latest TIME about the technology going into bowling balls these days and another about Martin Luther King Jr as I waited. As the giant fish tank I was sitting beside continued to grow in volume to a near deafening level, I waited. Finally she peeked out with a big grin on her face and said, "I need my purse." So I gave it too her and she went back inside. A moment later she reappeared,grin still intact, and said, "I'm Pregnant"

we finally got a piece of the pie

It's official. We're moving. We getting kinda good at this moving thing by now. This will be the 5th move since we've been married. We're not going far, just a little closer to both of our jobs. We found a little house pretty close to church in a part of town called redbank. no official move date yet. We're excited

brand new day

new year...new look...same great price!

Been working on a few little revisions here. this may not be my final look. I kinda fool with stuff till i'm happy with the way it looks. Any and all feedback would be appreciated.

oh i kinda did an animated version to see how that would be. check it out here

http://static.flickr.com/38/81334666_5b0324d069_o.gif