Labor pains will be a breeze

Okay, I discovered tonight that labor pains are probably not the worst part of pregnancy. I tend to think of myself as having a high threshold for pain--until tonight. Any of you who know me know that I have very thick, dark curly hair. Well, as you would imagine my arm hair and leg hair are also dark. And my facial hair is also dark. So, confession number 1: I use dipilatory cream on my face. There--cat's out of the bag! I'm not proud of this, but if I didn't do so, I would have a slightly noticeable hairline on my lip which some would refer to as a mustache. Well, part of taking care of this baby is taking care of myself--thus, I cannot use dipilatory cream until after this baby is born. So tonight, I pulled out the DUNH DUNH DUNH DUNH--TWEEZERS!

Let me say this:

OUCH!

I didn't scream. I didn't cry--though my nose twinged and my eyes wanted to water--I held it together. BUT I WANTED TO YELL BLOODY MURDER AT THE TOP OF MY LUNGS over and over and over again. Some of you may be saying "Why bother if it isn't really that noticeable?" And I answer by saying "No, you're right, its not that noticeable now, but as the pregnancy progresses, a woman's hair tends to grow in thicker--therefore, I do this to avoid growing a handlebar mustache. I have decided that if I begin to look like Elvis in a few months, I will sing ""Blue Suede Shoes" in my lowest voice and perhaps even throw in some "Jailhouse Rock". However, if Hitler should happen to rear his ugly face in the mirror when I wake up in the morning, then, I will wax. I don't care how many horror stories I hear. I'm not afraid to go there. Just pray for Geron, as he will be the one who will have to yank the strip off.

I didn't know that all these hormones would make me confess my darkest secrets. You may want to continue tuning in as there is no telling what I might reveal next.