Who's Afraid of the Big Bad Wolf?

Not me! I know a wolf can't actually blow my housedown. There is another big bad wolf, though, who is called the devil and is trying to scare me senseless. This morning, I woke up feeling okay. I hugged Geron before he left for work--no kisses because he has a cold--and started my day. As I was in the middle of my morning routine, I started thinking about tomorrow and my impending surgery and started to feel very frightened. I cried and cried like a baby. I sat in the nursery, in my great great Granny's rocking chair, and hugged a teddy bear and cried and shivered and cried. I felt paralyzed with fear. I wanted to stay in that chair forever and do nothing. I began to pray and call on the Lord. And gradually, Jesus started filling me with verses and songs of comfort. I thought of our baby and how she will need us to comfort her when she is scared and crying, to hold her and let her know that she is going to be okay because we will take care of her. As I thought of those moments, the Lord said "Lydia, this is exactly what I am doing for you. Right now. I'm in control. I know you are afraid, but you are my daughter and I'm going to take care of you. Even as much as you love the little girl I've given you, I love you and her MORE. WAY MORE. Don't be afraid for I am with you. I am your God and I will comfort you." Eventually, I was able to get out of the chair and continue through the day. Yet, God was still doing things to show me that He is in control and that His plan is to give me hope and a future.

This afternoon we went to the hospital for my pre-testing. The ladies who helped us were WONDERFUL. God knew I needed peace and He used the right people to help me receive it. We saw the hospital's labor and delivery unit and the Mother and Baby unit. I was impressed and felt good knowing a little something about where I would be staying and how my baby would be taken care of. THe nurse also talked with me about the procedures for the surgery tomorrow and helped to give me a better understanding of what was going to happen. When we left the hospital, I was definitely feeling less aprehensive.

Later, I talked to my mom and she sounded really excited about her coming grandbaby. I'm really glad she and Daddy will be able to come down and visit with me before surgery and meet their beautiful baby granddaughter so soon.

After talking with mom, we finally got back home and I checked my email to find a note and prayer from my good friend, Holly. It seems that the Lord was telling Holly to encourage me about the same time that I was feeling so scared earlier today. Things she told me in the email were the exact things I felt Jesus was saying to me as I was sitting in the rocker. GOD IS IN CONTROL---that has been my stronghold today. He is in control and HE has a plan to give not only me, but to give our baby a hope and a future.

Tonight, Geron and I are going to hang out and go to a late night movie. Tomorrow, we're going to go to the hospital and have our lives changed forever.