Pre-K already???

It's official, I'm a mom!  Cora starts preK tomorrow and I am sick to my stomach about it.  I don't know if I've ever worried so much in my life!  I worry that she'll be scared and cry and not want to stay at school.  I worry that there will be children who teach her things that she's too young to know and she won't know how to deal with it.  I worry that she still won't be ready for Kindergarten in the fall, but she'll go anyway and have to be held back or be pushed on without being adequately prepared for 1st grade.  I don't want her to fail in any way.  I don't want her to grow up so fast.  I feel like I'm losing part of myself and I can't get it back.  She won't even be four until the end of August.  What was I thinking enrolling her this year?  

Time is not my friend!  Was it so long ago that I held my tiny beautiful baby daughter in my arms and told her how much I loved her as she made those precious little squeaks that were only unique to her?  Seeing her smile for the first few times and discovering her sweet personality and intrigue with the world around her~those moments can't be recaptured except in the mind. Her first trip to high school youth camp at ten months was also the first showing of teeth in her mouth and the development of crawling.  How cute she was crawling, dragging one leg underneath her and trying to walk with the other one at the same time. 

 I long for the video of her walking barefoot across the stage at church, as she first discovered a microphone and repeated over and over again "Aaaaah....eeeahhh..." was that singing?  Eventually we learned "Ee I ee I Oh" though the Oh was more of a "doh" and E I was often reversed.  Reading picture books and learning to imitate animal sounds, recognize colors and letters, counting...And then one day she really was singing "Jesus Loves Me this I know" and she DID know and still does.  She's added so many new worship songs to her repertoire.  How can she not be a vocalist one day?  I love to hear her sing "I am a Promise, I am a 'fossivility' I am a promise, with a Capitol P, I am a great big bundle of 'fo-fen-she-ality' !" at the top of her lungs.  

And to see her as a big sister.  Every older sibling has their moments they want to be left alone or want to play with their own toys.  But she really does adore her little brother.  She has loved him since the first time she knew he was on the way.  She would pat, hug and kiss my tummy and say "hi baby 'Tohen' ".  She didn't know what to think when she walked into Mommy's hospital room the day Cohen was born and saw Mommy sitting in the strange bed with all the wires attached to her, but she knew she loved her little brother and wanted to hold him and kiss him and give him high-5's.  She still likes to hold him from time to time, even though he's almost as big as her.  She loves to wrestle with him, chase him, read with him, sing with him, teach him how to say new words, and occasionally help change his diaper or encourage him to go potty.  She knows how to value him and just today brought him a sucker from Walgreen's pharmacy.  She teaches him to share by giving her last gummies to him when he runs out because he eats so much faster than her and can't understand why she seems to have gotten more gummies than him.  

She calls herself "napkin girl" and is quick to lay the napkins out for meal time,  forks, plates, and cups, too, for that matter.  She tells us occasionally when she grows up she wants to be a 'cooker', probably like Daddy since he's the better one of the bunch at our house.  In the meantime, she serves us plastic fruit and vegetable salad, pours us tea from different sets she owns, and is quick to invite us to 'parties' she's laid out in her room.  She's quite the hostess and loves to entertain.  I hope this carries on as she grows older.  

Cora Sophia is my sunshine.  I love to snuggle with her at bedtime as we read fun books like Fancy Nancy, Junie B, Pinkalicious, Bible stories, and so so so many more.  We always say goodnight with bedtime prayers, hugs, kisses, and high fives, over and over and over.  And we say good morning with hugs, hugs, and more hugs.  I hope these qualities will not be squelched, but discovered and appreciated by others.  I hope Cora will be friendly to everyone and help kids who don't feel so lovable feel special and know that Jesus loves them, too.  I hope she'll listen to her teachers and obey them and even volunteer to help them.  I hope she'll be confident and know Mommy and Daddy love her and are so proud of the little young lady  she is.  

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I love you, Cora! Thank you for being such a precious daughter.  You are my special big girl and I am so proud of you.  Tomorrow you will start big school.  An adventure that will take you very far. In big school you will face so many choices, some good, some bad.  I am praying you will know who you are and Who created you.  I am praying that you will choose to follow Jesus and trust Him even as you are so very young.  He will never fail you and will always love you.   Be good, big girl!  When I see you tomorrow after school I'm going to give you a HUGE hug and tell you how much I love you!

Love, 
Mommy